Desperate, Impulsive Freedom
by tinylexie
Summary: "Killing the Seeker is more important than any book." - Darken Rahl, "Sanctuary"


Horror, terror, fear, anger,

What else was I supposed to feel

When I learned of the prophecy

Saying that the Seeker

Would one day kill me?

If you knew that someone

Was going to kill you,

Wouldn't you do whatever it took

To protect you life?

I wasn't thinking.

I was desperate,

And desperate people carry out brazen acts.

I am not typically an impulsive person.

I don't typically strike

Before thinking of the possible consequences.

I usually think things through.

Even when I am burning with anger,

I don't show it on my outside.

My face and eyes are expressionless.

My gestures and the way I hold myself

Do not betray my true feelings.

I can be friendly and charming to people

Whose blood I desire to spill.

I keep my anger stored up inside my heart,

Waiting for the right moment to release it.

There is a time to act,

But there is also a time to wait and to be patient.

I can usually wait to act until the moment is right.

The Seeker, however, was something I could not handle.

I struck without thinking of the anger that I would rouse.

Not knowing which baby would one day be the Seeker,

I ordered the deaths of all the babies in Brennidon.

Most people will not believe this,

But such an act is not typical of me.

I typically do not do more than what is necessary

To achieve whatever goal I have in mind.

I do not typically go overboard;

I am not typically overzealous,

But when Death is stalking you,

There is no time to think rationally.

There is no time to wait for the right moment

Because the right moment will never come.

The Seeker did not perish.

After many years,

He came back to haunt my every moment,

Both waking and sleeping.

I rarely showed my fear, though.

I am a master at keeping my true feelings hidden.

People think that they know me,

But no one really does.

I present different faces and different masks

Depending on the person and on the circumstance,

But I never show my true face.

People only know whatever face

I choose to show them.

The Seeker, however, made things difficult for me.

When Death is stalking you,

It is impossible to always maintain the calm mask.

Sometimes the mask does slip ever so slightly.

I hold in my hands an enchanted painting,

A painting which contains the Seeker.

The Mother Confessor,

The first person in many years to awaken

Something strange and foreign inside me,

Is also in the painting,

But I'm not thinking about her.

Under normal circumstances, I would be,

But the Seeker is anything but a normal circumstance.

I literally hold the Seeker's life in my hands.

The Seeker has caused me so much agony,

So much suffering, so much misery.

The Seeker was the reason I gave my soul to the Keeper.

The Keeper promised me power,

Power that I could use to protect myself against the Seeker,

And I foolishly agreed to the Keeper's terms.

I am not typically so irrational.

If I had been thinking straight,

I would have never killed myself

In order to speak with the Keeper,

But the Seeker makes it hard

For me to always be rational in my thinking.

Burn, Seeker, burn.

Who cares if the woman I desire

Burns along with you?

Right now, Seeker,

All I can think about is you.

Seeker, you haunt my dreams;

You cloud my mind.

Burn, Seeker, burn.

Who cares about the Book of Counted Shadows

And its secrets of power?

Burn, Seeker, burn.

Who cares if you possibly have

At least one of the Boxes of Orden on you?

I no longer care if I destroy my chance

At ultimate power.

As soon as you are gone forever, Seeker,

I will finally be able to fix my head on straight.

I despise the fact that I am losing control like this,

And it's all because of you, Seeker,

You and the prophecy

Saying that you will one day kill me.

Burn, Seeker, burn.

As soon as you are gone forever, Seeker,

Control will once again be mine.

As soon as you are gone forever, Seeker,

I will be free,

Free from all the grief you have caused me,

Free to finally live my life in safety and in peace.

Burn, Seeker, burn.

I can take care of the Resistance.

Prophecy never mentions them as a threat to me.

They rally around you, though, Seeker.

They practically worship you.

If I can destroy you forever, Seeker,

The Resistance will lose their symbol of hope,

Their burning torch in the darkness

That I have created.

When you are gone forever, Seeker,

The Resistance will eventually fall under my control,

And they will no longer be a threat to me.

Then, Seeker, I will be free,

Free to live my life in safety and in peace,

So burn, Seeker, burn,

Burn until you are nothing more than ashes,

Ashes that will never again

Be able to harm me or to threaten me.


End file.
